


Chairman Pai Learns to Accept Net Neutrality

by NickelbackVEVO



Category: Government - Fandom, fcc - Fandom, net neutrality
Genre: Masturbation, but in all seriousness protect net neutrality and contact your representative, i can load this simple website but the fcc website makes my computer lose its shit, i just can't today because my internet's shit, i'm gonna do that tomorrow, such a sad and lonely man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 20:04:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12801345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NickelbackVEVO/pseuds/NickelbackVEVO
Summary: the story of how chairman ajit v. pai finally accepts that net neutrality is the way to go





	Chairman Pai Learns to Accept Net Neutrality

**Author's Note:**

> CONTACT YOUR REPRESENTATIVES AND/OR THE FCC AND URGE THEM TO PROTECT NET NEUTRALITY!!!!!!

_The year is 2020. Net neutrality is a thing of the past. Chairman Ajit V. Pai has won. The people have lost._

After a long day of infringing on first amendment rights, Ajit was tired. Well, tired didn't really describe it. He was more worn out, with a pent up frustration that could only be relieved through one thing. Masturbation.

Ajit sat down at his laptop and typed in "www.pornhub.com." Up popped countless images of nude women, further arousing Ajit. Could he have just asked his wife to help him out? Theoretically, yes. But let's be real for a second. Why would anyone want to sleep with this bitch?

Ajit palmed himself through his pants to relieve some tension as he scrolled through the website, searching for the hottest video he could find. Eventually he found one, and he clicked on it.

He pulled his pants down and took his erection in his hand and began to jack himself off, getting off to the obscene moans coming from the sexy blond porn star. Ajit didn't last very long. Only three minutes in, and he felt his climax approaching.

Then the video buffered.

No matter what he tried, the website would not load. And if it couldn't load, he couldn't spill _his_ load. But then he remembered. Three years ago, to this very day, he had killed net neutrality. He did this. He was his own goddamn cockblock three years in advance.

He started crying. No. He was bawling. All he wanted to do was get off, but he couldn't do it. Now that PornHub, his favorite adult video site, was being restricted by his internet provider, he finally saw the error of his ways. But it was too late.

Ajit never came again. His cock remained untouched for the rest of his life as a solemn testament to the untapped potential of a free internet.

**Author's Note:**

> only you can prevent forest fires (and the elimination of a free internet)  
> also did you know that some forest fires are good? yeah they burn away fuel for larger fires. damn you, smokey...


End file.
